There’s TP on the shelf like a treasure from a king,
And the moment someone sees it, everybody starts to sprint!
People diving down the aisle like Olympic superstars,
Fistfights breaking out in front of frozen Pop-Tarts.

Narrator whispers: “This is not a movie. It’s… March 2020.”

Do the Covidiot Cha-Cha, step back six feet,
Wave at your neighbors you’re not allowed to meet.
Flail your arms like you’re swatting a bee,
And hoard toilet paper like you’re preparing for World War III!

Here comes Chad Throttleman, flexin’ on the scene,
Says “COVID’s just cardio… that’s how I stay lean!”
Won’t wear a mask ‘cause it hides his jawline glow,
Takes selfies every hour just to tell the virus “NO.”

On the other side of town, Karenina’s on patrol,
Fourteen masks deep like she’s mining for coal.
She’s measuring the aisles with her tape of doom—
If you breathe near the avocados, she’ll clear the whole room.

Do the Covidiot Cha-Cha, sanitize your hair,
Disinfect your mailbox, your driveway, your chair.
Mute yourself on Zoom while you’re eating chips—
And pretend you understood the latest CDC script.

Now we cut to the leaders trying hard to be wise,
But half their cameras froze on “accidental guilty eyes.”
“Close gyms! Close beaches! But casinos stay open!”
Because apparently blackjack keeps democracy from broken.

Scientists try speaking, but the audio’s a mess—
By the time they finish talking, the virus mutates twice, more or less.

Then the Algorithm wakes up like a villain in the feed:
“Let’s confuse the humans for my entertainment… indeed.”
It tells Chad 5G towers make you sneeze at night,
Tells Karenina everyone within twelve feet is a biochemical fright.

Politicians shrug and say, “Eh, graphs look fine…”
And the Algorithm whispers… “Let’s press chaos this time…”

Chad starts livestreaming pull-ups on a traffic cone,
Karenina screams “WRONG SPACING!” in her megaphone.
Together they shut down the entire testing zone,
And case numbers drop because techs rage-quit and went home.

Do the Covidiot Cha-Cha, raise your arms up high,
Wear a mask, don’t wear a mask—WHO KNOWS WHY?!
Get a vaccine sticker just to flex online,
And watch politicians flinch as they claim they feel “fine.”

Just as peace returns to the land of shake-and-wave…
Chad coughs—uh oh—
Karenina shrieks—OH NO—
And the crowd stampedes for disinfectant wipes…
like destiny demands one more show.

There’s TP on the shelf - YouTube

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@1TheBrutalTruth1 DEC. 2025 Copyright Disclaimer under Section 107 of the Copyright Act of 1976: Allowance is made for “fair use” for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, education, and research.

Dos Equis’ new campaign succeeds because it isn’t just parody—it’s cultural truth wrapped in humor.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xUPHuka1HzU

The “Most Gen X Man in the World” isn’t portrayed as a relic, but as the only person who seems to have survived modern life with his sanity intact. While everyone else is drowning in constant notifications, curated identities, and performative ambition, he floats above it with the same calm indifference he once used to ignore guidance counselors and MTV VJs. The ad taps into a deeper sentiment: that Gen X, sandwiched between two louder generations, learned early that the world changes whether you chase it or not—and that real strength often lies in detachment.

His flannel is less fashion choice than armor, his sarcasm a survival tool, his “whatever” not a dismissal but a worldview forged by growing up without seatbelts for the soul. In reminding viewers of this ethos, Dos Equis isn’t just selling beer; it’s selling the idea that in a chaotic era of extremes, the most grounded person in the room might be the one who stopped caring just enough to stay human.

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@1TheBrutalTruth1 DEC. 2025 Copyright Disclaimer under Section 107 of the Copyright Act of 1976: Allowance is made for “fair use” for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, education, and research.